Thursday, July 31, 2008

July 31 - Golden Birthday



Today was the best hangover day of Budapest.  Candida and I stayed out very late and added whisky to our drink menu.  We hung out at Kiado well after they closed and Daniel, our favorite bartender gave us free beer for my birthday! 
 
I slept in, missing breakfast, but took myself out to a little fancy cafe for coffee and a sandwich.  Then Patricia and I tried to go the Hungarian National Museum and like morons, we completely missed our turn for it and walked totally out of our way and completely around the enormous building.  I don't know how we totally got lost and didn't see the huge fucking museum with the largest columns in Budapest, but leave it to me to pull something so ridiculous. So that's our joke:  we walked "all around" the museum.  By the time we got to it, we were exhausted from the heat and the unexpected journey and decided to forgo the museum for espressos and lemonade.  Then I took a nap. Got up, checked email and came back to the hotel to find Beata and all the girls at the hotel cafe and they had a cake and a gift for me!  EThey got me the cutest tote/purse and it's so handy.  Wish I'd had it weeks ago!  I can fit a lot of stuff in it and it's adorable.  That was really kind of all of them to think of me and be there to celebrate my birthday.  I am so lucky to have such an amazing group of women to work and enjoy Budapest with!  I mean, on what planet do seven women, all from diverse backgrounds and of a broad age range get together and kind of instantly become friends?  Planet Medosz!  We have an idea for a little funny video of all us to give to Beata as a gift when we leave...

Extra special for me today was that we had a new waiter for lunch at the Cafe. Gabor.  Damned good looking man.  

We went to the big gallery open-house event by Parliament tonight.  About 25 galleries and antique shops opened up and we stopped in and saw a lot of contemporary Hungarian art - mostly painting but some sculpture and phtotography too.  There was an incredible antique collection at a place called Pinket Antik.  The place was a massive labyrinth of some of the most beautiful furniture and pieces I have ever seen.  

Next thing we know, it starts to rain and we got totally stuck in it!  We tried to stop at a couple restaurants for cover and some dinner, but seems everyone in Budapest had the same idea!  So we made our way back to the hotel and changed out of our wet clothes and all went out to dinner together at Ferenc Joszef Cafe, right by the Ernst Museum.  I ate the Beef Goulash, it was delicious, but I'm so full right now that I feel a bit barfy!  

So, that's my birthday.  It's been lovely and I'm so touched by all the sweet birthday wishes sent via email, myspace, facebook and text today!  

It'll be an early night tonight, especially after last nights debauchery and tonight's overfill of spicy beef.  Tomorrow, we head to the Ludwig Museum and the Gellert Bath.  It will be another day off, afterall.  

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

July 30 - Last day of 30


I woke up today, hot and sweaty and restless from a turbulent night of nightmare-filled sleep and anxiety.  I'm thinking too much about the exhibition next week and my proposed pieces for the show.  I met with Candida and Marlene for breakfast, got my pieces together and headed to the print show to have my photos printed.  The lady at the shop spoke a little english, but she seemed very annoyed with us in general.  No matter, she printed my 12 images and they looked great (expect for one scratched one, which she reprinted right away).  I got the work home and thought, fuck, half of these look like garbage.  Not exhibition pieces at all.  Total CRAP.  

So, I've narrowed down my project from 9 images to 6.  I'm doing a triptych - 2 sets of three images each.  The first set is of non-human hands - close ups from sculpture, shot in such a way that the sculpture itself remains unknown and each represent different aspects of Hungarian history and culture:  tyranny, understanding and hope.  The second set brings in the human element, where hands and fingers connect or try to connect with the world around them, representing portals/doorways, knowledge and identity.  I'm not sure what kind of price tag to put on these, but since we are exhibiting at a very fine gallery here in Budapest, I don't think it would be unheard of to ask $1000 for each set.  I'd be happy with $50. Shit, I'd actually be happy with $5.  

When I got back from the print shop, however, I was still riddled with nerves and fortunately, my roommate Hannah offered to trip the images so they would fit in the frames.  My hands were so sweaty and shaky that I didn't dare even touch the prints.  I paced, I hovered, I probably drove her a bit crazy, but she was so calm and it helped me calm down.  I'm such a wreck when it comes to exhibiting shit.  I don't have a fine arts background and haven't matted a photo in 10 years.  I don't know the first thing about exhibitions except handing someone a fucking dvd or minidv tape.  And since I nixed the idea of editing a film here awhile back, well...I had to delve into other forms of exhibition that I'm not accustomed to.  But, isn't that what Residencies are about?

Later, I ate a terrible lunch with leathery beef and too many dumplings.  This was the first lunch of the Residency where the food was not very good.  Everyday we get traditional Hungarian dishes served to us at the hotel cafe - it's free and part of the Residency.  We never miss a free lunch!  But today...of all days, when I needed something delicious to take my mind of my stress, today is the day I get served a shoe for lunch.  

Then I took a nap and awoke drenched in sweat.  It's so hot and muggy here, and of course, unlike in hot-ass Virginia or steamy Detroit, there's no AC to cool you off.  And no fans in our hotel bedrooms.  

After that, I went to an art opening with the girls and it was bad.  Real bad.  The best part about it is that it made me feel like my work is pretty good after all!  

So, today is the last day of 30.  Tomorrow I'll be 31 on the 31st.  My lucky birthday!  I'm taking the day off  for some seriously needed rest and relaxation.  I'll go to the Szechenyi baths, get a pedicure and head out with everyone to the 25 or so gallery openings happening near Parliament.  Then out to dinner.  It will be great!  A new beginning!  

Friday, I'll get back to work on my film research.  I need to shoot more of the 1956 memorial sites, prominent locations and areas of activity.  I might even get a chance to take on of the day trips I planned out of Budapest to places where my mom was born, where she grew up, where her dad was born, etc...But tomorrow, tomorrow I relax! 

I might even get a tattoo of the Hungarian flag...let's see how adventurous I'm feeling!  


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

July 29 - Day out with Beata






I'm exhausted.  It's very hot and sunny here today and we spent the day outdoors and going to museums and galleries in and out of Budapest.  Beata, her daugher, Arpad and Max came to pick us up around 9:30 and we headed out of Pest and into Buda and then on to Szentendre.  

Our first stop was at the incredible ruins of the Roman coliseum.  Amidst modern buildings and houses, cars and busy streets, there's this fabulous portal into thousands of years ago.  The cage areas that held wild beasts for battle with Gladiators are still in tact.  I could really imagine thousands of Romans watching as a man gets a mauled to death by a tiger.  I picked up a few loose pebbles from the area to put in my garden.  

Our next stop was the Kiscell Museum/Budapest History Museum.  It was once a monastery, then a school and now houses an exquisite permanent collection of modern day relics, cultural material and art of all kinds.  We oooohhed and ahhhhed at every turn.  Each room, even without the art and artifacts were themselves breathtaking.  All of the pieces were about Hungary, Budapest and created by national artists.  I'm wondering if my great-uncle might have a painting or two in some of these museums?  The old church is a massive structure that houses some contemporary work.  And while I wasn't so hot on the work, per se, I was very intrigued by the juxtaposition of the aged architecture and the modern pieces presented there.  

Next, we headed out of town into Szentendre, this charming, truly European village on the Danube.  While a little bit touristy, there's tons of shops, cafes, galleries, museums and restaurants tucked into little nooks and niches and some beautiful jewelry, clothes and art at every stop.  While there, we went to the Serbian Orthodox church and the church musuem, which was really lovely and complex. We all commented on the hand gestures of the clergy in the paintings - sort of like holy gang signs.  We stopped for lunch at Erzebet Etterem and I had some delicious hortobagyi palacintas.  They are so rich and satisfying, that I immediately wanted a nap.  I fell in love with this black dress from one of the shops, but simply couldn't part with 13000 forints.  We tried to visit the Artist's Residency there, where 28 artists live and work and have a gallery, but poop, the gallery was closed.  

And after that, we were pretty pooped ourselves.  Out in the sun for hours, taking in all the art, architecture, history and culture was pretty intense!  And there was so much more to do and see there, but it was unanimous that we head back to Pest for a little rest.  I took a short nap and now I'm awake, but still quite tired.  It will likely be an early night for me!  

I have about 25-30 shots for the gallery show and I need to narrow it down to nine, plus, I have to get my work printed tomorrow so I can matte and frame everything by this weekend.

On Saturday, I'll be spending the day with my Hungarian family - Agoston and Erzsebet.  I wrote them an email, using totally horrible Hungarian pronunciation and grammer, but they got the gist of it and Beata is helping us translate with one another.  They wrote me the nicest note back, which Beata translated for me and I must share it:
"Dear Kristine!  You have surprised us with your Hungarian letter.  We are so sorry that we cannot write in English.  I hope someone will translate to you.  We would like to take you somewhere for a family trip on Saturday.  Tomorrow we will talk with Beata, maybe she can help.  We love you very much, our little sweet girl!  Good night, see you.  Agoston and Erzsebet."

So, I'll spend the day with them on Saturday and head to Beata's afterwards for tea.  It will be interesting trying to communicate beyond language barriers, but I think it would be tragic if I let this be a deterrent and didn't spend as much time with them as a I can.  

That's today.  It's been a busy one.  


Monday, July 28, 2008

July 28 and stuff





The gypsy flea market was forgone for a trip to Ikea.  Holly and I headed out with Beata, who thankfully stayed with us and drove us to a tram stop by Farkasreti cemetery, so I knew the way home.  Otherwise, we'd likely be lost trying to catch the right bus from out in nowwheresville back to Budapest!

But, both of us found the kinds of frames we were looking for.  I bought nine, small 2.5 inch x 2.5 inch square frames, gunmetal in color.  

After breakfast this morning, I laid down and thought long and hard about what my project will be for the gallery.  I have over 2000 photos and five video tapes worth of material to pilfer from - all mine, all original.  But I needed a theme.  And I was in love with one of my shots from the Memento park, actually, quite a few of them, where hands were part of the scenery.  So I mulled about this...hands.  Reaching out.  Touching. Connecting.  Traversing time and space, holding on or letting go.  Moving beyond language and national boundaries -- a tactile response to History, Society, Culture, love and loss.  

I went through my raw video and found many shots of hands as well.  Hands of artist's working (my roommates, who I shot while in the middle of their processes - drawing, designing, crocheting), my hand as I put my ticket in the tram validator, the gypsy homeless women smoking, the hands of Barbara from Kerepesi as she passed the paper on to me with Agoston's name, phone number and address. 

I pitched my concept and ideas to Beata and showed her a few of the photos I had collected so far.  She was very receptive and positive and loved the idea.  And so, I've figured it out.  All my random ideas and thoughts and experiences collected into 9 shots, all encompassing different ways of REACHING OUT.  

With that confirmed, I suddenly felt really excited and motivated about the gallery pieces, which are separate entities from the film project.  I simply had to keep these two projects distinct.  The weight and difficulty of trying to edit a short piece right now is like trying to master the Hungarian language in just a few days!  Impossible!  But I think this idea has a strong conceptual base and I really feel like many of the images I've acquired are "high art" and have the potential to sell.   We'll see!  

Today, we went for lunch at the huge market (which eclipses even Eastern Market by volumes!) and enjoyed stuffed cabbage rolls, sauerkraut and I had an espresso.  I noticed in the menu that they had Lecso! (Letcho).  So I bought a container of it for dinner tonight, to see how it differs from the version my mom made while growing up and that I make all the time for Christian and I.  We love it so much I have to make it twice a month!  I can't wait to be hungry again so I can eat it up!  Also picked up 3 kinds of paprika to bring home and lovely grey wool shawl.  And wine, yum!  

Of course, on our way to the market, we find the elusive thrift/antique store I've been looking for all along...and OF COURSE, they have antique frames at a reasonable price.  Still I wouldn't have been able to afford more than 2 or 3 for the price of the mini-frames I got at Ikea. 

Tomorrow, we spend the day with Beata going to the artist's colony and visiting their studios and work spaces.  This should be great!  

Agoston emailed my mom and she's overwhelmed with emotion - laughter, tears, joy.  I know, I feel the exact same way myself.  We have tentative plans for her to come down to Richmond a week or so after I get back from Budapest and spend a few days planning the future and a way for her to reunite with her family.  

Life is beautiful, isn't it?





Sunday, July 27, 2008

Memento Park











Today, Patricia, Hannah and I made the long trek out to Memento Park, on the outskirts of Buda. You have to take the metro, catch a bus to the bus station, then catch another bus that gets you to the park.  Takes about 30 minutes to get there, but it was totally worth it!

The park is home to many of the old Communist propaganda monuments, statues and plaques that were placed in various public spaces in Hungary, many in Budapest.  Rather than destroying them once the Commies got the fuck out and Hungary was free (about 1989 - 1993), the new government commissioned the park as a place where the memory of the regime and it's bullshit would never be forgotten.  And the art is stunning - bronze, marble, metal, stone in a very open and informal and yet beautiful environment.  It's not stuffy like a gallery - I felt that I could really engage with the sculpture in a different than if it were indoors or in some public square.  We had a blast posing like Communists in front of the statues (dorky, I know, but totally fun!).  The old favorites like Lenin, Stalin and Bela Kuhn are all over the place, plus statues of hard-working communist men in various states of military or social service - all exhibiting strength, endurance and loyalty to the party.  Of course!  We found very few representations of women in the park.  About 5 in the whole place - and one was a goddess and the others were little girls.  Only one adult female, and you'd hardly notice her, as she is flanked by dozens of men in the huge metal sculpture where she resides.  So, maybe our little funny shots are more of political/feminist comment than we even imagined...
The park also has actual-size replicas of the boots of the 6 meter statue of Stalin that was dragged through Budapest and destroyed during the 1956 Revolution.  

Going to the park was really good for me, because after yesterday's emotional rollercoaster, I needed something outside of myself and to take my mind off of the heavy things.  I woke up today and started to cry again.  I dragged myself to breakfast, ate a little bit, then went back up to my room and cried some more.  Then I laid down and slept another 2 hours.  But when I awoke (looking like a puffy, red faced and swollen rendition of myself) I took a shower and we headed out.  I really enjoy the company of all my fellow Residency mates and I love that we share many of our experiences together and have all become fast friends.  

So, now after going to the park, and shooting about 200 photos, I might use some of these for my project as well.  There's a few I'm really happy with in terms of composition, color and angle and I think a few shots of the old regime will fit well with the project's themes.  

Tomorrow we head to the "gypsy" flea market, but if I don't score some frames there, I'm gonna have to go the Ikea route, much as I find that unpleasant.  But time is ticking and I have to produce some work for this show, and I just don't feel that cutting a video of my footage is appropriate at this time.  I'm too close to it and I need some space from what I've collected to figure out how to arrange the pieces.  I also have to write narration of the story, which will just me cry a hundred times more than I already have...and right now isn't the time for tears.  Right now, I have to work and get my shit together for the Residency show.  

But, here's some pics from the park, and shot of the flowers my cousin Agoston gave me.




Saturday, July 26, 2008

My Hungarian Family



Today might be one the most fulfilling, insightful and emotional days of my life.  This is not hyperbole.  This is the truth!

Beata came to meet me around 4 pm.  We walked over to the cafe, it's across the street from the Opera house on Andrassy, called Muvesz Kavezo and waited.  Beata was out of cigarrettes, so she ran to get some.  Just as she does so, I see the big man with the moustache, his wife and a younger woman.  It's them.  They look around.  They see me and it's immediate -- we're family.  

We hug, we kiss, we all tear up.  Like real tears, the kind you simply can't hold back and don't feel bad about letting go.  They brought me flowers and flowers for Beata too.  We kiss and hug some more.  We can't stop looking at each other.  Agoston and I have the same blue eyes.  

Agoston is big, but not fat at all.  He's 55.  Tall and thick, but in no way fat. Just very big.  His wife, Erzebet (Elizabeth) is lovely.  So beautiful.  They brought their daughter, Clari, she's my age and very pretty and spoke a little english.  Beata returns and we all sit down.  My camera rolls.

They brought with them a package of photos and letters and certificates of birth, death and marriage.  Every photo made me cry. My hand shook as I picked them up.   A new batch of fresh tears every single time.  There's pictures of my grandma, Valeria, so young and so unbelievable pretty.  Her sister, Margit, 5 years older than her, another knock-out.  This is Agoston's mother.  He's my mother's cousin, so he's my first cousin, once removed.  He and Erzebet have 3 children, and 5 grandchildren (two of which are still in the womb!) 

There's photos of my grandfather, Istvan Martonhegyi, so handsome and young.  Strong.  A true Hungarian freedom-fighter.  There's photos of my mother, from ages 4 through 17.  Pictures of my mom's brother, my uncle Peter, from 3 - 16 years old.  Pictures of my grandfather when after he came to America and his new wife, Christa, my Oma (whom my mother did not get along with, and you can see it in the photos!)

 There's letters my grandmother wrote her own mother, that Beata translated and read to me.  In one she said "I'm so very ill and think I will die soon."  

There's letters my grandfather Istvan wrote to his deceased wife's family back in Hungary.  About once a year, based on the post marks.  Some Christmas cards, often with photos.  To see their own handwriting is to see the history of my own strange and elegant cursive.  He calls his in-laws "mother and father" and asks them to send him the sport section of the Hungarian newspapers.  He gives little details about my mother and uncle Pete here and there.  "Vali has a car now.  Peter is working."  

There's a photo of my great grandparents and their 3 children (Margit, Istvan and Valeria).  It's like a portal back in time.  To look at my great-grandfather's face is to see Agoston.  To look at my great-aunt Margit is to see there daughter.  To look at my grandma is to see me.  

Beata did me such an incredible service by translating.  She helped me so much, I can't think there's anything I can ever do to truly repay her.  But I know she loves pastries, so she's going to get the BEST I can find in Budapest.  

Agoston told me, with a red, tear-streaked face, that I have made him so happy by finding him and being here and it has changed his life.  Both of us crying, we couldn't help but get up and hug and kiss each other some more.  I could not agree more with those sentiments.  My life is forever changed, for the better.  

We talked of many things.  How every weekend on Saturdays, he, his sister (Zsuzsa, who is now 57 and suffers badly from MS), his mother, Margit and Father, Agoston and my great-grandparents would meet at my grandmother's grave.  Every Saturday for over ten years.  

I asked how Agoston and Erzebet met.  They asked about me and my mom (Vali).  I talked about my sisters and all our accomplishments.  And that I have a Polish father.  And they laughed at that with good nature.  

I told him the story my mom told me on the phone today.  That one of her first memories is sleeping over at her grandparent's house, in the bed with them and they snored all night and frightened her!  

We laughed, we cried, we got to know each other and communicated beyond the language barrier.  This is only the first day we'll have with each other, the first meeting of many to come.
They invited mom and to stay with them when we come next year.  I invited them to the US.  I'm sure in our lives we'll cross the ocean many times to see each other.

There's no one else left.  Everyone has passed except for Agoston and his sister.  Agoston's children keep the Garai family name alive, but Kiraly and Martonhegyi are fewer and fewer.  (Kiraly is Valeria and Margit's maiden names, Margit married into the Garai name).  My great-grandmother was the last survivor of the older generation, she died at 91, having outlived all of her children and her husband.  

Finally, they brought a photo of my grandmother for me to keep.  And for this, my heart is full of emotion and gratitude, so much so that I can barely type through the tears.   She is so lovely and amazing.  I'm so sorry she died so young and that through her death, much of her/my family spread apart.  But time is not something I will dwell upon or fixate over.  The present is much more important and astonishing.  Agoston and Erzebet met me, a stranger, with more compassion, kindness and care than I would have ever imagined.  They said they would scan/copy all the photos/documents they have and even come to my art opening at Mucius Gallery, here in Budapest, on August 5th!  

If I do nothing else this residency, my journey to find my grandmother's grave has been so incredibly fortunate and profound that I can live and sleep soundly even if my footage sucks and my life as an artist is in some limbo sphere.  I came here to begin the research for my film, to find Valeria's grave and in return I have accomplished so much more.  I found the family I never had, the family my mother lost and the family I will always know and love from this day forward.  



Friday, July 25, 2008

Farkasreti Cemetery and Family news




I took two Metro lines and one tram line to get to the Farkasreti Cemetery today.  Only got lost once, but easily doubled back and got on the right tram.  The cemetery is on the far side of Buda and was right there once I got off at the stop.  

I knew which section to go to (30/2) and the plot number.  But when I got there, I couldn't find a grave that said "Martonhegyi Istvanne" anywhere!  Discouraged, I walked to the Information office, noticing a large amount of police and people arriving.  The woman at information helped me a bit and told me the grave has the name "Garai Agostonne" on it.  Hmmm...

So, I found that grave.  This was originally my grandmother's grave, and I think Garai Agostonne was my grandmother's sister, and when she died, her family changed the headstone to only show her name.  That's a little sad.  But, I shot some video and left my flowers.

As I was leaving, I saw a large camera crew and followed them.  I need a camera crew!  But oddly enough, I wandered into the funeral service of Gyorgy Kolonics, the Olympic canoe/kayak winner and national sports hero who died last week of acute heart failure while training.  I shot a lot of photos and video of what I could...the crowd grew exponentially while I was there, from a few hundred people to thousands of people.  Young kids brought canoes to the memorial, everyone had a flower and a Hungarian flag ribbon.  It was so surreal, to be looking for a specific grave and to stumble onto the funeral of some kind of Hungarian celebrity.  

Then I made it back to the hotel, but bought some shoes along the way (as if I needed another big package to carry!)

When I got in my room, Patricia said "sit down."  So, I sat down.  She passed on the message that Beata got in touch with Garai Agoston and I am to meet with my second-cousin tomorrow at 5 pm!  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!  So I rushed to call Beata and she told me he is so excited to meet me, that he cried on the phone, had a million questions and I guess he has all the family records.  He mentioned that in 1980, he removed my granmother's gravestone, because no one had come to visit her in 30 years.  This solves the mystery of why it's there, but not there. 

This is like a dream come true.  I have never met any of my Hungarian relatives on my grandmother's side.  Agoston is probably nearly 60 years old.  He told Beata he's fat and has a moustache.  I cried when I was on the phone with Beata too.  I'm crying now, I can't help it.  

In a year, when mom and I come back, she'll be able to meet with him and look through his files and likely see a photo of her mother.  Because she doesn't have one, never has.  And her face, the way she looks, is a only a faded memory from a long-ago childhood.  

What a fucking amazing day. 







Thursday, July 24, 2008

July 24th and what I did today

After yesterday's awesome research discoveries, I sat at my favorite bar and the German guys I met, Mario and Sebastian, came by and we had some drinks.  Then Candida and Lana came by and joined us.  Then we went to a couple more bars and I met some American's and Canadians and we chatted it up for awhile.  I got sufficiently drunk enough to have a bit of a hangover today.  

But I pushed through it and headed out to the city around 11.  I had to buy a new data card for my camera (great, another expensive addition to an already expensive trip) and then I wandered around for a while looking for antique stores and photo printing shops.  I'm looking for ornate, detailed wooden frames, the kind great paintings might be housed in and then I'm going to insert my modern photographic images into the frames.  Depending on the size, I'd like to make 3 different pieces.  The idea is that I'll juxtapose these modern images with the antique frames - as a comment on how I see Budapest and the culture in Hungary.  I found a really fancy antique place that was asking 35,000 forints for one frame!  That's crazy!  So, I'll head to the flea market at City Park on Saturday, and if I'm not lucky there, there's another flea market on Monday by the airport (apparently run by some very tricky gypsies!)  And if that fails, there's a framer who can make antique looking frames for me, but these will likely cost quite a bit. 

So, I shot a lot more photos today.  A lot of touristy stuff of architecture and buildings, but I got some interesting shots of Andrassy Utca, which looks a lot like it's about to explode into the next Rodeo Drive or 5th Avenue.  There's Gucci and Armani and Guess stores in these incredibly old buildings.  It's all very strange.  This modern shift in Hungary's economy and culture seems to take away from the city, rather than enhance it.  At least for me.  One thing I'm glad about though, is that there's no fucking Wal-Mart here!  And I hope there never is.  

I made it over the US Embassy, which was a total security nightmare.  I had to go through metal detector and hand over my phone, camera and iPod to the security guard.  All this just to find out that I need to go to the Hungarian Consulate to acquire about citizenship.  

Beata visited us today and she called the phone number I was given of the person who might be a family member, the one who paid the rent on the grave.  There was no answer.  But I gave her all my information, and she is going to try again for me tonight and tomorrow and help set a way that I can meet this person.  Hopefully, they speak a little english...but if not, Beata said she'd join us for coffee and translate for me.  This is huge...I've never met any of my Hungarian family, except the few who came with my mom in 57.  

I'm shooting a lot less video than I anticipated, but tomorrow I will go to the correct cemetery and hopefully find my grandma.  I am seriously going to have to come back with a crew, because I simply can't shoot all the things I'm doing. 

Can't believe this is almost half over.  

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Farkasreti Cemetery

This is where my grandmother is buried.  Farkasreti Cemtery, in the Buda side of the Budapest. 

How do I know?  Well, I went back to Kerepesi today and met with a woman in the Information Office who spoke a little english and she made a million phone calls, let me videotape her while she did so, and she found all the information I needed.  The story is incredible.  

My grandmother died in 1957.  Her side of the family paid for her grave.  Graves leases "expire" and cease if not released every 25 years (that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard!)  In 1980, a family member of her's, Gadai Agostonne, died, and was buried by her, thereby extending the lease on the grave (which would have expired in 1982).  Then, another 25 years was added to the lease.  So, in 2005, the grave expired again.  My helper, Barbara, waiting for a call back, said, if it wasn't paid, it might not be there.  If it is there, you can pay to keep it.  It will only cost about 150,000 forints!

Well, then she gets a call back.  And the grave was paid in 2005 by Garia Agostonne.  She then gave me this persons phone number and address.  

I think the person who died was my grandmother's sister.  And I think the person who paid on the grave is one of her children, and this person lives in Budapest.  

Barbara also gave me tram and metro directions to Farkasreti.  She was so helpful, I teared up when I said goodbye to her.

So, the adventure keeps shifting and changing.  Tomorrow, or the next day it DOESN'T RAIN ALL DAY, I'll head over there.  I know the transportation system well enough now to feel comfortable getting there with all my equipment.  

I'm also going to ask, Beata, my liaison, to translate a phone call to this person for me.  Wow, I have goosebumps just thinking about it!

For now, I'm going to hang out with the cute German boys I met at Kiado Kocsma last night. Young and friendly, we're going to hit up a few bars.  

No pics today, but a lot of progress in my research and quest to find my grandma's grave.  I can't wait to bring her some flowers and tell her that my mom loves her. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

July 22nd Pics - Buda, Danube and more

Photobucket Album

Buda + Danube = Perfect

Today, Holly, Hannah, Patricia and I walked our way to the Vivivaroszi gallery on the Buda side of the Danube.   We left around noon and walked Andrassy until we hit St. Stephen's Basilica, where we simply had to go inside and enjoy its majestic splendor.  The Basilica is named for St. Stephen, the first king of Hungary (975-1038), and his mummified fist is housed in the reliquary.  I tried to get some shots of it, but with no flash, in a dark room, all you can really see is the case where the freaky mummy hand is.  You can actually see the knuckles if you look close. 

We crossed the Chain Bridge into Buda and walked towards the gallery, stopping frequently to ooooh and aaaaah at the gorgeous hills, castles, statues and architecture we passed along the way.  The bridge itself is AMAZING.  It's probably one of the most famous structures in the city.  From the bridge, you can see both sides of Budapest, from Parliament to the hills.  The river is wide and there's lots of tour boats and sailboats.   The whole thing felt totally surreal and romantic - I'm inspired and feel like I know my way around Budapest pretty well now.  

We finally made it to the gallery, where our work will show in 2009.  The show that's up is all work from past A.I.R. residents, including my great friend, Belinda Haikes!
(who I miss like crazy!)

After the gallery, we went to Cafe Gusto and ate very delicious sandwiches.  I had the best cappucino I've had here so far (the coffee at breakfast is always terrible...in fact, I'm convinced it's made with mud).  Then Hannah and Patricia went to the bath house, and Holly and I ventured off on our own, taking our time on the walk back to cross the Margit bridge and spend a little time on Margit Island, a little island in the river --- not unlike Belle Isle in Detroit and Belle Isle in Richmond!  

I came to some revelations today.  More about the video project and about what I might do for my gallery piece for the residency.  I was going to cut a short together but I think now I'll aim more towards photo.  I'm going to look for an old, ornate frame at the flea market.  Something that conjures up the baroque and detailed architecture of the city, but use a modern image to juxtapose the energy of Budapest.  A city so full of lovely and incredible design, everywhere you look, but caught in a crossroads of modern expansion and capitalist development.  I can't stop thinking about the ballet school housed on the second floor of the building riddled with bullet holes and war wounds.  To me, that surmises Budapest.  Beauty, elegance and grace surrounded by scars and pain.  As the body pushes itself, the body of the dancers, they are still encapsulated in this war-torn shell, this shameful and horrible fate.  Somewhere inbetween beauty and grotesque, this city pulses and physically, emotionally and spiritually thrives.   

So, that might be my piece.  It might not...

Tomorrow, I'm going back to the cemetery to *hopefully* track down where my grandmother's grave might have been moved to...

Patricia said she'd come with me.  And just having one person by my side will make all the difference in the world.  

I'm also going to go the US Embassy and see if I can get dual citizenship.  Come November, if Obama doesn't win, I know where I'd like to defect to.  

And last night...oh yeah!  Last night!  I met an American man who's lived here 11 years.  His son had just been born the day before and he was celebrating.  His wife is Hungarian, so they live here.  He said it took him about 2 years to really learn and be comfortable with the language.  He then told me he works in film/audio and worked on the audio for Hellboy 2.  I have yet to confirm this, but he did tell me he'd be my best friend if I moved here.  Cool. 

And, I just met two fun Germans!  Sebastian and Mario (huh, that name's not German!)  Couple of youngin's!  Adorable!  They're from Dusseldorf...and of course, I think of Dana and my lost trip to Germany.  Oh well.  When I live in Budapest, next year perhaps, it's only an hour or so flight away.   





Monday, July 21, 2008

Breakthrough

My new roommate, Patricia, is just what I needed to pull me out of my funk.  She's in her mid-thirties (i think) and she just arrived yesterday to the Residency.  She does incredibly thoughtful installation pieces.  Originally from Ecuador, she lives in Tennessee.  

This morning, she and I figured out the tram/metro (subway) system and bought our passes.  We then took a long walk to Hero's Square and the park at Varosliget.  Here, there's the Palace of Art, the Museum of Fine Art and a truly amazing and beautiful castle.  Vaydahunyad Castle.  Neither of us went on this trek with cameras, instead, we enjoyed the walk and the weather and the scenery, with no pressure.  It was relaxing and good for my body, mind and spirit.  We talked the whole way, taking in the surroundings, conversing about art, politics, philosophy, culture and our lives.  I think she's awesome.  

After lunch, I took a nap.  I woke up after about 45 minutes feeling completely refreshed and motivated.  With my new understanding of the transportation systems, I felt confident enough to get on the metro and head back to where we were today, this time with my video camera and tripod.  I shot a lot of exterior and scenic shots of the monuments and buildings, the people, the tourists.  I even kept the camera rolling while I was on the subway.  The sounds and audio on the metro is really incredible.  A loud whirr and whoosh and grind mixed with voices and hisses and sounds of brakes.  Then the doors whisk open and people come and go.  My luck, as I entered the metro station and stamped my pass, the guard totally accosted me for my ticket...and I was rolling!  

While I was in Hero's Square, the cutest blond boy was fascinated by me and the camera.  I got a couple shots of him.  My luck again, he joined me on the metro a couple stops later!  He was so adorable.  Funny, in a city of 2 million people, I run into this little tow-head twice.  

Today is a far cry from yesterday's slump.  Lunch was even better.  Everything was better.  I don't hurt as much and I feel rested and strong again.  I may have to revamp my plans for my project and the work I'll do here, but isn't that how filmmaking, and life in general, usually ends up.  Even the best plans can go to shit.  The point is, to pick yourself up and keep on shooting, living, breathing -- and to be excited about it every step, even if painful, along the way.  

Patricia also offered me some excellent advice:  forget editing.  Shoot EVERYTHING.  Shoot all the time.  Don't waste time editing right now, I'll always have the footage.  Right now, my opportunity is to capture as much footage as possible.  She put it like this: "Say you're at home, editing and you say, shit, I forgot to shoot that...it's not like you can come right back."  And she's right.  All I needed was a new perspective.

So, cheers to her and everyone for their love and support.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Presentation Day

Part of the residency requires that we present on who we are as artist's, our past works, experience, aesthetic, concepts, practice and examples.  Candida went first.  I loved her work.  Thoughtful, intellectual and brilliant.  And she's only 25.  All the presenters in the residency (all women), Marlene, Hannah, Lana, Holly, Patricia, Candida, showed command of their medium and many others - whether painting, drawing, photography, video, installation, ceramics or mixed media.  And then I go second to last and I feel like total poop.

Couple reasons.  One I won't mention, but the other being that here I am, 30 years old (almost 31!) a PhD student and I feel I have no aesthetic at all.  I have concept.  I have ideas.  Some funny, some serious, some artsy, but nothing concrete that really DEFINES ME.  My concept is this:  shoot or produce with any materials at hand, by any means necessary.  So, my work is as frenetic and un-definable as my influences.  I love Werner Herzog, Alfred Hitchcock and Stan Brakhage.  In film alone, this straddles so many genres and approaches.  I love Saturday Night Live, Days of Our Lives and Battlestar Galactica.  Okay.  Does this mean I'm versatile or good at nothing?

I know I'm a great teacher/professor, whether in film theory 101 or teaching students how to shoot and edit.  I think of it as "painting with light" like Joel taught me.  

Today, I gave a PowerPoint about "who I am."  I briefly went over my degrees, work experience, and philosophy (i.e - shoot whatever, whenever with whatever).  I showed Lee Plaza Volunteer, the opening Re-Cap montage of As the Lights Dim Episode 4 and one of my newest pieces, the collaborative film Intentional Fallacy.  Very good responses...but still, I felt so pedestrian...

Maybe I'm just being sensitive (see unmentionable cause #1) and highly skeptical of myself, but I did present with confidence and security.  I'm proud of my work.  I won't apologize because it doesn't fit into a nice little bundle or a simple category.  I transcend genre, dammit!  

But I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.  Literally.  My camera bag, tripod and backpack are fucking heavy.  After going to Kerepesi yesterday to shoot, I've been having horrendous muscle spasms in my shoulders from the bulk of my equipment load.  My feet hurt. My body aches all over.  All I want to do is drink to take away the pain.  Beyond the physical pain is the emotional and psychological weight of my project.  Suppose I don't fulfill my expectations of this residency?  Suppose I never find my grandmother's grave?  Suppose I fail at telling the story of my family with compassion, honesty and above all else, a sense of story? 

I am only one person.  In a foreign land (though it is my home land).  I will do the best I can under the circumstances.  I expect no pity...I simply want understanding.  As these days of the residency move on, I need to find some peace within myself and allow some room for failure.  And to consider failure as something else perhaps...as experience, discovery and wonder.  


Saturday, July 19, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Buda Day 3 Images

Photobucket Album

Buda Day 3






Well, still no luggage.  It's been 2 full days since I've had my own clothes and things.  

Holly's t-shirt was starting to smell...so I took myself shopping today.  Went to the thrift store, Humana, and bought a pair of jeans, jean skirt, another skirt, 3 tank tops and 2 t-shirts.  Then I went and bought a pair of Converse and 2 other pairs of cheap shoes from a little tiny lady who spoke no English but was VERY very friendly and helpful.  It's amazing how gestures and signs can make up for what we lack in language communication.  Then, I hit up the camera store and bought a subpar Vivitar tripod.  Does what it needs to do, but is a hunk of poo compared to my Bogen.  Stopped at Cafe Mozart for a cafe au lait.  Oh, and I bought some toiletries including deodorant, mascara, and razors for my near-Yeti hairy legs and armpits. 

Tonight, Beata, our liaison, is taking us to a couple of art openings in town.  This will be great! 

And here I sit, back at the I hung at a bit last night for the free Wifi (or WEEFEE, as the Magyars pronounce it).  It's called Kiado Kocsma and it is a real gem of a place.  I realize that even with all the prep I did for this trip, I am woefully unprepared for the days of research and shooting ahead of me.  Wish me luck!

Next blog will show the pics I've taken so far, not too much.  I've been too busy drewling at the architecture and the amazing busy city to actual take pictures of it...






  

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Buda day 2

Still no luggage.  I'm wearing one of my roommates t-shirts.  The shoes I wore to the airport were fine...for the airport.  Not for walking in Budapest.  FEET HURT.

Took a long walk today, regardless.  Up and down korut Erzesebet, which is a street filled with cafes, restaurants, boutiques, hotels and bars.  Feels like NYC without the price tag!  Even the Burger King is in a beautiful building.  I found a cafe around the corner from the hotel called VESPA.  It's decorated with Vespas, really.  They're parked in the front.  Free wifi with purchase, so here I sit, with Holly and Hannah (my American roommates) and we are enjoying glasses of dry red Hungarian wine.  

I took a 4 hour nap today after lunch.  Didn't plan on that!  But I think I really needed it after 26 hours of travelling and then getting loaded on canned Stella's while Christian and chatted on iChat.  So, today, I slept it all off.  

So, tomorrow I begin working.  Shooting B-roll and city shots.  More photography.  I want to get the Kerepesi cemetery as soon as possible.  This is where my grandmother is buried.  I have a picture of her grave and that's all to go on.  But, I'll find it.

What sucks, what REALLY REALLY SUCKS, is that my very nice Bogen tripod is in my missing suitcase.  Not sure what to do.  If my luggage doesn't arrive tonight, I'll have to buy a new one.  And all new clothes.  And a pair of Merrell's. Can't live in Holly's t-shirt for 3 weeks.  


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Oh ma gawd

So, I leave for Hungary tomorrow and I'm so freaked out I can't sleep. I tossed and turned for hours, finally giving up. I made a pot of coffee and tweeked my presentation for the Hungarian Multicultural Center.

And what is this presentation about?

Me! And more about me! And then about how AWESOME I am!

I've packed my suitcase. It's hard packing for three weeks in one suitcase. Plus, I'm bringing my big Bogen tripod, a Canon GL-1, my digital camera and of course, Nessie, my MacBookPro.

Ah, you're probably thinking, she's going to run out of money isn't she? Well, yes, I most likely will. Truth be told, I already have. If you've helped out with a donation, thanks a million. If not, well, here's your chance! Anytime is fine...money never goes out of style! But begging on the streets of Budapest, not cool.

Click here to donate and I'll send you a postcard and thank you at the Oscars!