I thought I would wake up today with a great sense of relief and closure, but I pretty much feel the same as I've felt the last few weeks. Depressed. Tired. Lethargic. Sad.
Why today? Well, yesterday, Nov. 9th, is the day/date that one year ago Christian moved out of my house, ending the 5+ year relationship debacle we'd been mulling around in. So today really isn't just an arbitrary date I assigned to say "I am going to feel better today;" no, today marks the first day of the beginning of my first year of life without being sucked dry by him. However, the suckitude continued with the relationships I formed with 2 other notable characters in this drama. And if you know me, you know who they are and you know that they too, are somewhere in Gonesville.
So, why do I still feel so poopy? Lots of shit flying around, I guess. Instead of wallowing in it, I am going to slowly but surely clean this fucking mess up.
What does that entail? Starting small and with what I know I can accomplish today. For instance, getting my homework done and being prepared for my very awesome nonfiction class. Next, finishing up my little demo packet for Pittsburgh. Then, packing and getting prepared for my Wednesday trip. And boom, signing a lease that marks my new lease on life.
I'll return to RVA knowing that in less than 2 months I will not only be living alone in a new city, I will have made a decision by myself and for myself, with no nasty cling-ons to drag me down anymore, or ever again.
I guess I actually DO feel pretty good today! Hah!
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